Olé, pessoal

Andava eu a vaguear nas internets quando me deparo com esta merdice. Inté que é engraçadote. Falemos com Deus e confessemos a merda que por cá andamos a fazer

iGod

Aqui fica um breve excerto da minha conversa com o Criador (façam o mesmo e postem as respostas ):

Citação :

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello my son. What is your name?
Me:
Why do you want me to tell my name? you're god, then you were suppose to know it
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Whatever... Do you like gay bars?
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it? I love horses. I like White.
Me:
Who refered to horses? You naughty God! Good toy, by the way

...

Me:
Do you have a web cam?
God:
My home page is [Tens de ter uma conta e sessão iniciada para poderes visualizar este link]
Me:
i meant a camera. Do you have one?
God:
Oh I see. What is giant sand? " What is giant sand?"? Do I have one?
Me:
Didn't get it. I don't care about your stupid stories, do you have a web cam so you can show me your boobs?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not. You sound very cynical.
Me:
ohh I see. you want to give and you don't want to recieve
God:
Do you think about these things? I don't have it to give.
Me:
Yes you do, I bet your ass is perfect
God:
It goes without saying. What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.

Citação :

Me:
Hey dear God.
God:
You've got my full attention. I believe in God.
Me:
I'm not God.
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not God.
Me:
I'm sheep.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are sheep.
Me:
Pimenta e salsa.
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Pimenta e salsa.
God:
I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
Noz moscada.
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
I'm wearing your jacket.
God:
Where do you go shopping.
Me:
At gMALL.
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
Maybe.
God:
I understand.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
Me too?
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
Me tuz.
God:
YOU? That input matched my default category.
Me:
OH NOES!
God:
Yippee! Do you like talking to me?
Me:
No. Bye.
God:
Why not? Adios.
Me:
I'm afraid light will burn me father.
God:
Not literally afraid, right? Why? I like the way you talk.
Me:
Me too. Bye.
God:
I'm glad we agree, . Goodbye.
Me:
Pumpkin.
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Maybe pumpkin bread.
God:
Perhaps. Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
No. Bye.
God:
Are you serious? Bye for now.
Me:
Bye.
God:
Adios.
Me:
Adeus.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Bye.
God:
Goodbye.

Já perdi uma boa meia-hora da minha vida nisto. Depois posto uns excertos.

Me:
Hy god
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
Monkey
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
In China it is
God:
What is it like in there?
Me:
It sucks. Smeels like my grandfathers feet
God:
What is so bad about it? I think Smeels like your grandfathers feet is a lot of things.
Me:
I dont get it
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
Im not sure you could
God:
Could you ever be certain? How?
Me:
I am certain that I like sexy chicks
God:
You sound convincing. You are not the only one. But I think airplanes are cool. I like Matthew.
Me:
What airplanes dude? And who is Mathew, your boyfriend?
God:
Interesting question. The name of someone I met online.
Have you tried another program?
Me:
I am confused. What program?
God:
What is it that confuses you? You tell me.
Me:
I just did. I thought God would be smarter than that
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious. Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
Weel, He created the universe in a few days. Your supose to be smart.
God:
Where do you usually get your ideas? I will tell my botmaster you said I am supose to be smart.
Me:
From the bible. I knew it was all a bunch a crap, but now I am certain. Thanks
God:
Who or what is the bible? Who told you? Don't mention it.
Me:
Dude, do you smoke Weed? Because you sound kind of high.
God:
We test it for medical purposes. Dude,. Interesting explanation. In what way do I sound like that?
Me:
Because you dont know what the bible is. Hey, is Jesus really your son?
God:
Good reason. The Bible is a holy book for Christians. You've got my full attention. It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
I have more faith in our govermant that in the bible
God:
I always pray for more faith.
Me:
Weel, you should try harder. Is José Socrates going to hell?
God:
What if it didn't happen? I haven't heard anything like that before: said s J o s é “ o c r a t e s g o he or she n g t o h e l l.
Me:
I am sorry. Is the prime minister of Portugal going to hell or not?
God:
Do you really mean it? If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
So is going to heaven?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Really, you have to lay down on the wees. Its causing global warming on our planet man.
God:
For real. I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?
Me:
You tell me. By the way I ment Weed. But you are god so you knew that.
God:
What do you want me to tell you? Thanks for telling me. Oh I see. If I could tell you that, would I be here? Thanks for telling me that I am god so me knew that.
Me:
OK than, nice spech. I have to go now.
God:
Thank you for your kindness. Really. Oh. See you later, . Nice chatting with you.
Me:
You dont mean that
God:
Do you know any robots who mean that? Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Bye now
God:
Right now? See you later!


No fim descobriu-se que Deus é um robot. Surpreendidos?

Ri-me desta conversa, não pela ideia, mas sim pelas calinadas.


Inb4, Weel, Smeel e Spech.

Citação :

Me:
Weel, He created the universe in a few days. Your supose to be smart.

Oh the irony.

O meu ingles é um pouco po torto eu sei